Elegy for a Partnership
by rittenden
Summary: A series of short stories set after season 7 in differing POV. Most characters will be featured.
1. Roy

Where has the time gone?

It seems like only last week I was sitting in that tiny room at the county fire department headquarters. Barely big enough for a table and two chairs, it was the best we could get, given the lack of funding to back a program people didn't really believe would get off the ground. Sure, they recognized the necessity of it. They just didn't think it would get the official support it needed anytime soon.

Thankfully the fire department is an awful lot like Boy Scouts. The desire to 'be prepared' meant that when the White Paper came out, the folks at headquarters started making plans to accommodate our own paramedic program. Even though it would be a while before Congress agreed to it – and we all knew they would have to, eventually – LA County didn't want to get caught behind the 8-ball. When a couple of local doctors approached the department about the program, they already had a pretty good idea of what would be involved. It didn't take long before the first paramedic class in LA County was underway and I'm proud to say I was part of it.

Right after training we were tasked to recruit other firefighters. Although I didn't doubt the importance of what the paramedic program could do, without the official sanction it needed I was beginning to worry about our ability to get enough people interested in the job. As I sat in that little office, way too much time to think only added fuel to the fire of worry that burned inside me. We needed the paramedic program badly but from the lack of people walking through the door, I didn't know if we'd be able to do it.

I suppose that's why I was so passionate whenever I had a chance to explain the program to anyone who'd listen. My wife certainly got an earful when I first signed up. Lord knows what I did right to deserve a woman like Joanne but she's always been in my corner when I needed her. I'd go home after one of these information sessions, down on my ability to recruit 'hose jockeys' to the cause, and she would always be there with a sympathetic ear and a rational opinion. Lots of people have said I'm calm and composed under pressure but they have no idea how instrumental my wife has been in keeping me there.

The main problem was that although the men of the department recognized the need for qualified medical personnel in the field, every one of them had signed up to be firefighters. They didn't want to do something else. Hence the nickname 'hose jockey'. It might sound derogatory but it was an accurate description of a job they loved to do. Trying to convince them to join the paramedic program was, for a lot of them, like trying to talk them into quitting firefighting. More than once I'd gone through the explanation that no, they didn't stop being firefighters when they became paramedics. They just had to be paramedics _first_ whenever it was needed.

Too few signed up in those days, in my opinion. I was beginning to lose hope. I started questioning my ability as a recruiter, going over my spiel in my head to find the flaws in my approach. Originally I'd gone in with notes and documents containing facts and information about the program but no one seemed interested. Joanne said it right when I went home that night. "They're _men_, Roy. Men don't want to read manuals. Tell them why _you_ joined the program."

God, she's brilliant.

Since then I'd managed to garner a little more interest. The numbers were still down but I became more positive about the outcome. The program was still in its infancy, not yet approved for the field, but at least it had gotten up on its knees and started crawling.

I still remember the day Johnny came in to learn about the program. From the start I knew his captain had pushed him to do it. He was never very good at hiding his emotions – not from me, anyway – and the mixture of skepticism and vague disinterest was easy to read on his face. The disinterest faded pretty fast but Johnny held on to the skepticism until the bitter end. I'm not sure what I said that finally changed his mind that day. All I know is that right up until he asked to borrow my pen, I was sure he was going to be one of the many who'd told me they'd 'like to think it over' and never came back.

Ah… Johnny. I would've sworn he was still a boot, fresh out of the academy. He looked so young and eager back then. Little did I know at the time that that fresh-faced innocence was my soon-to-be partner's total outlook on life. Even now, all these years later, Johnny still has the vibrancy and optimism of a five-year-old. Don't get me wrong – he's not naïve by any stretch of the imagination. Johnny just has one of those free spirits that won't be knocked down for long, no matter what happens. If I were to be totally honest, I'd have to admit that I'd probably be bitter and jaded by now if it weren't for him. Johnny has kept me young.

Now that I think about it, that's probably why I've always called him 'Johnny' instead of 'John' the way the other guys on our crew do – did – sometimes. To me, 'John' is a guy who's got a wife and kids and a dog and probably works nine-to-five in a bank somewhere. Not boring, precisely (especially since that description would almost fit me), just… predictable. Johnny is anything but. One thing I learned pretty quick about him is that if he gets quiet, the other shoe is about to drop.

Sometimes I wonder what effect marriage would have on my partner. Johnny's always bouncing from one relationship to the next like a pinball in an arcade game. When I try to picture him with someone like Joanne, a little part of me dies inside. Joanne is a perfect match for _me_, naturally, but my effervescent partner would wither away in that kind of relationship.

God, that's sounds terrible. I wouldn't change a single thing about my life – not one. For me, it's as close to perfect as any human being could ever hope to get. I'm as deeply in love with my wife today as I was on the day we got married. More, even, because the life we've shared since has only strengthened that bond. My children are a constant source of pride and joy, regardless of how they behave. Every bad day we've had has been countered by a flood of good ones. No… I have zero regrets. I just know that my life wouldn't suit Johnny at all.

We've talked, Johnny and I, about how he would like a relationship like mine. I know he thinks that but deep down what he really needs is someone to share Johnny Gage's special kind of life. I sometimes try to imagine what the perfect woman for him would be like: would she be irrepressible, like him? Flighty? Romantic? Like someone out of a dime-store novel? Or would she be more of an outdoorsy type? Athletic? Animal lover? Tree hugger? Vegetarian?

Although I like to get whimsical about the future Mrs. Gage – who _is_ out there, I have no doubt – I have to admit that, to some degree, she's going to be a lot like me. She'd have to be. Tolerant, flexible and grounded yet ambitious, adventurous and agreeable. Yes, I said adventurous. I can be – to a point. Like I said: Johnny keeps me young.

That brings me to a depressing thought: what's going to happen, now that Johnny and I are no longer partners? We'll still be friends of course, but what kind of friends will we be? Without the schedule that threw us together for twenty four hours at a time, whether we wanted to be or not, will our friendship stay strong? Or will it fade away over time? No matter the promises we made one another after becoming captains, life has its own current. Two people can be thrown together one day and then a change in the tide can make them drift apart, regardless of what they intended. Without his upbeat attitude, his fresh outlook and his boundless enthusiasm, will I become a different person? Will I… get old?

Sounds silly, I know. We all get older. But there's a difference between getting older and getting _old_. Johnny could explain it better than I can. With age comes wisdom, stability, patience and contentment. But I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about getting _old_. Stagnant. Routine. Predictable.

Boring.

Johnny's not boring. I can't imagine him that way. If I stretch – really stretch – I can see him as an old man with white hair and stooped shoulders, but that picture always has him laughing and playing with a group of children gathered around him like a gaggle of geese. No matter how I try, it never changes. Takes a lot of effort to conjure _that_ up, though – Johnny's youth seems immortal, sometimes.

I don't know what the future will bring. I'm a captain now, with my own crew to look after. I hope that I'm as good at it as Captain Stanley is. I'm going to miss him and the guys at the station, but I'm ready for this chapter of my life. I only hope that someday I'll be able to look back on my years as captain and say that I was a damn good one. I have a pretty good role model in Hank Stanley but I think… I think I have another in Johnny Gage, too. Marco would laugh, Chet would ask me if I'd lost my mind and Mike would shake his head quietly but I know it's true. Hank's leadership and my experience tempered with Johnny's enthusiasm… Sounds like a good mix to me.


	2. Johnny

Whoa, people. Calm down. There's no need to get all hot under the collar about this. Geez.

CF&BWM - First, it's extremely rude to post people's PMs in the open. Second, I also asked you to look at what I wrote and PM me back. the fact that you've decided to lambaste me in an open format is - in your words - disrespectful. However, that's your prerogative. I'm just sorry you didn't feel able to help out when asked.

I also think it strange that _you_ said you were going to get critics involved - and then thanked _me_ for their involvement. I didn't contact them - _you_ did. Or maybe you didn't. I have no idea.

Feralscajun, Kris - I really appreciate your jumping into the foray to defend me but it's just prolonging the problem. Thanks anyway.

To everyone else who's been subjected to this mess - I apologize. The first (non) chapter has been removed. Hopefully that will make an end to all of this.

Talk about an overreaction...

**EMERGENCY!EMERGENCY!EMERGENCY!EMERGENCY!EMERGENCY!EMERGENCY!EMERGENCY!EMERGENCY!EMERGENCY!EMERGENCY!EMERGENCY!**

Captain Gage. Captain John Gage. Cap. Captain Johnny Gage.

Man that sure has a nice ring to it.

"What are your orders, Cap? Nice day, isn't it Cap?"

How d'you like that? Me – a captain! I'll bet a lot of people didn't see that coming. Like the Chief. He kinda threw me with that comment about finally making it when he handed me my badge. You'd think he never thought I'd do it. Guess I showed him, huh?

There goes Roy… pulling out of the parking lot… Captain Desoto, I mean. We really did it. Captains. I feel like pinching myself to see if I'm dreaming. _Captains!_

I don't have to report to my new assignment until Tuesday but it sure is tempting to head down there anyway. It's gonna be weird not going to station 51. I'm gonna miss it a bit, I think. The guys too. Not Chet and his stupid pranks, though. That guy sure doesn't know when to quit. You'd think after all these years he'd have learned when enough was enough. Not Chet, though…

Well, maybe I'll miss him a little bit. Sure, he didn't stop pulling that Phantom nonsense when I wanted him to, but whenever he was needed I could count on him. Like the time I got bit by the rattler – he was right there with the snake bite kit, helping me out. Or when I got hit by that car, Chet was by my side almost as fast as Roy… Yeah, I guess I'll miss him, too.

At least as a captain I won't have to be the one to do all the rescuing. Sure, it'll be tough at first. After years of being the first one to jump into a tricky spot to rescue someone it'll take a while to learn to stand back and issue the orders, but I'll manage it.

Roy, now… Roy was made for the job. The first time I met him I was a little surprised to see his badge only had one bugle on it instead of two. The way he talked about the paramedic program lit a fire in me – no pun intended. He was just that _passionate_ about the whole thing. As soon as he said the bit about only having a handful of guys ready for when the bill got passed to put paramedics in the field… I just had to be part of that.

Sometimes I envy Roy a little bit. He's got a wife and kids, a nice house – pretty much everything I wanna have someday. Not right now, though. Life is pretty good for me right now. I'm in no hurry to change that. Being a captain is enough change for a while.

I think the thing I'll miss the most is working with Roy. I mean, I'll miss being a paramedic, sure, but I think I'll miss Roy more. Not that we won't see each other often, because we will, but it won't be the same as working with him. At least we had each other to lean on, y'know? When we had a rough call or if we needed someone to talk to about whatever or… anything. They don't call it a partnership for nothing. And ours wasn't your typical partnership, either. Look at Brice and Bellingham. They were partners but I'll bet ol' Craig Brice never invited Bellingham to his place for breakfast when their shift was over, like Roy does. Did. Or spend their days off fishing together like Roy and I do – did.

Well… we'll still do that. Sure…

That's reality for you. Pricking your balloon of happiness just when you least expect it. I suppose if I were being realistic, I'd have to admit Roy and I probably won't see each other very often. I think we both know it. The way our conversation ended just now… it was kind of there without actually being said.

It's too bad the department doesn't let you stay being a paramedic when you become a captain. Maybe it'll happen one day, like Roy said. I wonder if I can keep up my certification until then. It'd sure be cool to go from being one of LA County's first paramedics to being one of LA County's first paramedic captains.

I wonder if any of the other guys will make captain? I mean, Captain Stanley is already, of course, but I wonder about Chet and Mike and Marco? Captain Stoker… Yeah, he'll make it. Captain Lopez…? I guess so. Captain Chester B. Kelly…

Probably not.

Chief Stanley. Now _that_ has a nice ring to it. Right up there with Chief Desoto and Chief Gage…

Now don't get ahead of yourself, John. Gotta be a captain first. And what a captain I'm gonna be! The guys at my new station are gonna be proud to call themselves part of Gage's crew. I can hardly wait to get started. Makes me kinda wish I'd talked to Cap before and asked him for a few pointers. Well, I can still do that. Not at the station, though. I'll call him at home. He's off tomorrow. Maybe I should ask Roy if he wants to come along… Nah. Roy doesn't need any advice on how to be a captain. He'll probably walk right in and it'll be like he's been there all along. Besides… I don't know if I want him to see how uncertain I feel about this whole thing.

Hold on a second – this is how it's gonna start. Little things that I don't talk to Roy about. Next it'll be big things and before you know it, we're not talking about anything at all. No, I'll ask Roy if he wants to come along right after I phone Cap to ask if it's alright.

So what to do now? I guess I can drive by the new station to see what it's like. Then maybe I should head over to Rampart to give Dixie the good news. Boy, will she be surprised! I can almost hear her now, making me promise to stop by and see her once in a while. Doctor Early, too. I can't see Doctor Brackett saying it – or Morton, for that matter – but I can practically picture her pointing one of those long nails at me while saying "Now don't you forget to come see me, Johnny."

You'd think they'd seen enough of me over the years. Man, it seemed like I was a bad luck magnet or something. Every other week I was stuck at Rampart either for a few hours or overnight. Those days are over now, though. It's somebody else's turn to be the rescue man – or the Pigeon.


	3. Hank

For those who refuse to let this lie - this note is for you:

A) I did _not_ post a note. I posted an intro. CatchFireandBurnWithMe contacted me and said it wasn't an intro. **I changed it.** It still wasn't coming across as an intro. I removed it. _Finis_.

B) I have had a conversation with CF&BWM that you all have not been privy to. We have reached our own resolution. I have dropped it, they have dropped it. We both hoped others would do the same. If you don't believe me, it's there in Catch's last review.

C) I _have_ apologized to my readers for the initial debacle. I do not see why some feel it important to keep dragging the matter out and beating it to death. I had thought of not approving the demeaning guest comments but, quite frankly, I have said I want _all_ comments and I meant it. However, continuing to flog a dead horse is borderline flaming. I assume the guilty parties are aware of this because by leaving reviews as guests they are ensuring they receive no backlash from those people who **do** want it dropped.

D) From this point forward I will be declining all guest comments that do not pertain to the story as it is now. You're not insulting me, you're insulting the people who _just want to read a story._ Enough is enough.

**On with the story:**

This has got to be one of the longest shifts I can remember. Toned out before we even had breakfast and then nonstop ever since. I don't think we even got lunch. At least we made it back in time for supper. I was beginning to wonder. Marco's going to have a nasty bruise where that stack of barrels fell on him. Better a bruise than the alternative…

What I'd _really_ like to do is get in a nap before we eat. No chance of that with the stack of reports I have to get done, though. I should probably get started on those but it's like my mind has hit a brick wall. From the quick look I got in the mirror when I was in the locker room, I _look_ like I hit a brick wall. Maybe I should grab a shower instead… Nah. I'd probably just get up a good lather when the tones would go off – just my luck I'd be racing for the engine with soap in my eyes. Not a good impression to give the new guys.

They're doing okay, I think. With a little bit of polish Hadley and Becker will fit in just fine with the rest of the crew. Sure, it's going to take some time – they're not the guys we're used to – but they'll be alright. Mike, Chet and Marco just need to give them a chance to find their stride with the rest of us. Not that they haven't been – they've been pretty good about that. I just can't help noticing that Hadley and Becker are still Hadley and Becker instead of Jim and Mitch. Even _I_ haven't gotten to that point yet.

Still… they've only been here a couple of weeks…

Ouch. Note to self: don't stay in one position too long. These wooden chairs aren't the most comfortable at the best of times, let alone after hours of backbreaking work.

A couple of weeks… Has it only been that long? It seems like John and Roy have been gone a lot longer than that. I guess it hasn't taken as much time for the rest of us to bounce back as I thought it would. Just today I heard Kelly giving Becker a hard time – guess the Phantom finally decided to adopt a new pigeon. I thought we'd seen the last of Chet's wacky sense of humor after Gage left. He was so damn quiet all the time. _All the time!_ I was beginning to wonder if I shouldn't send him to Morton for a checkup.

And Marco… When he made hotdogs for lunch last week I thought my eyes were going to pop out of my head. He always complained when Gage made hotdogs. Or hamburgers. Seemed like every time it was his turn to cook, John made one or the other. I thought we'd seen the last of hotdogs, too.

Strange the things you miss.

Mike hasn't said much since Gage and Desoto left – but then Mike doesn't say much at the best of times. I have to admit he's been awfully quiet lately, though – even for him. I doubt he's said more than a dozen words since we got the news that John and Roy made captain…

They're at it again. Kelly and Lopez. They argue more now. Not so much that the casual observer would notice, but I do. I guess this whole thing has hit us harder than any of us thought it would. I suppose I should address that. After supper. Or maybe after I get these reports done. Damn paperwork!

Did my knees just creak? I could've sworn they creaked! Should I get that checked? What if it's serious this time? What if… what if I really _do_ have arthritis? If the department finds out – wait a minute…

Oh, for heaven's sake. It's the chair! The damn chair creaked! I just about had a coronary! Bloody chair… I'll have to detail one of the guys to oil it. Can't believe I jumped the gun like that. Again. And after I promised Roy I wouldn't overreact the next time something happened, too. Sometimes I am such a twit.

Twit. I haven't used that word in…

Well, not for a long time anyway. Last time was when I was giving John grief. What was I chewing him out for? I don't remember. It's not important now, at any rate. Water under the bridge, as they say.

If I were being honest, I'd have to admit I'd almost enjoy the opportunity to chew Gage out again. Not that I enjoyed doing it at the time – that's not what I mean. It's just… well… I miss them too.

The day they had their promotion ceremony… None of the guys at 51 went. I know Roy and John understood, but we couldn't go. Not that we were on a run or anything – as a matter of fact, it was our day off – but a thing like that, something that should be celebrated… We're all happy for them but for us it would be more like a funeral than a celebration. It wouldn't have been fair to bring down such an important day for John and Roy.

It's not like that at other stations. I know it for a fact. I've worked with plenty of crews that split up like ours did. You just come back to work on your next shift and life goes on. No big deal. I don't know why those two left such a big hole when they went…

Yeah, I do. Gage and Desoto were unique. They worked well together and they worked well with others. Theirs was an unlikely friendship but by God it worked. Quiet, even-tempered Roy Desoto and unpredictable, exuberant John Gage. Two sides of the same coin – and the best damn paramedic team out there. I'd stake my captain's bars on that one. The department lost big because of their damn rule about not promoting paramedics. I hope they come to their senses on that – and soon.

Not that John and Roy won't make amazing captains. I have no doubts about that, either. They might've been a bit chaotic off-duty but when there was a job to do, those two were a well-oiled machine. Sure surprised the heck out of me when John called and asked if they could come over. I thought I'd seen the last of them when they walked out of here in their dress uniforms. I suppose I should've expected it, though – Gage always was one for wild ideas. And dragging Roy along with him.

It was kind of nice of them, though… Asking me for advice on being a captain and all. I'm sure they would've done just fine without talking to me. I guess I must've made a bigger impression on them than I thought. And John's taking it more seriously than I gave him credit for. I kind of thought he'd be more laid-back about the whole thing, but he had some impressive things to say.

And Roy – I misjudged him, too. I figured he'd be the strait-laced one. The captain that everyone is afraid to get on the wrong side of. Not as bad as Hookraider, of course, but definitely more 'by-the-book' than I think he will be now. I just about fell over when Gage asked me how I thought he should handle any razzing he might get over being a new captain – and Roy cut in with "Pretend you didn't hear it." I was going to tell Gage to lay down the law with them. Roy's right, though – hard-nosed just isn't John's personality. In the end I told him to just be himself, only better. I hope he got my meaning.

Roy was a lot more relaxed about the whole promotion thing than I expected, too. I guess even after all these years those two can still surprise ol' Hank Stanley. I don't know why – John and Roy will always be John and Roy, regardless of rank.

No, the only awkwardness at all was right at the end of the night. The conversation between those two when we were saying goodbye was… well… _awkward_. Like there was something they weren't saying. I have a feeling I know what it was, though: they're both afraid their friendship won't live past their partnership. I should've said something then, I guess. I hope they get it worked out. It'd be a damn shame to have that kind of friendship go out like a candle.

Speaking of saying something and working things out… I guess it's time I went and addressed the elephant in the room. It's not fair to Hadley and Becker to have to work with this much tension. It's about time the crew of station 51 – and I mean the _whole _crew – get the real reason for all their griping out in the open. And Mike's gonna talk, too – even if it kills him.

One thing's for sure, though – I hope I never live to see the day Gage outranks me…


	4. Brackett

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's the feeling of panic and disorientation you get when waking up in unfamiliar surroundings.

What makes it even worse is the added embarrassment upon realizing that you're in your own bed in an apartment you've owned for years.

It's a good thing Dix didn't see that – I'm sure she would've had plenty to say. She's seldom wrong, however, so I guess being the focus of one of her lectures wouldn't be all bad…

Like the one I got last night. It never ceases to amaze me how that woman finds out about everything. I swear I could be in the doctor's locker room having a shower and get soap in my eye – and by the time I got dressed and back to the ER she'd be standing there telling me to have Joe take a look at it. I really thought I'd managed to keep my thoughts about taking a few days off to myself and the administrator but when I told Dixie I was going to grab some sleep on the couch in my office, she came down on me like a ton of bricks. Said she knew I was actually supposed to be off for the next couple of days and to get my butt home.

And of course you can't really argue with her. Not and expect to come away with your dignity intact, anyway.

Being as I am one of the better doctors at Rampart hospital, I immediately recognized the symptoms of a full-fledged tirade about to be unleashed and quickly came up with the correct treatment: turn tail and run.

I _do_ feel better, though. It's a good thing that the cleaning lady I have also doesn't mind running a few errands for me – looks like she's restocked the refrigerator since I was here last.

When was that, anyway? Two… three weeks? It was just after Johnny stopped in at Rampart to let us know about his and Roy's promotions. I didn't even recognize him at first – that fancy uniform really threw me off, and I don't think I've ever seen Gage wearing a hat.

It was nice of him. He didn't have to come see us at all, let alone get Dixie to come find me. I know John Gage and I have had differing opinions over the years, especially at the beginning, but to have him come right out and thank me for everything… Well, Johnny never was one to hold his tongue when he had something to say – and that day was no exception.

But that little speech he gave, right there in front of everyone, well… I have to admit it really hit home. No matter how I felt about the paramedic program at the beginning, that young man has repeatedly made me glad that I was wrong.

It's too bad Roy wasn't there to hear his partner talk about the ups and downs of the paramedic program – or his passionate words on how grateful he was to the staff at Rampart. I had to laugh at his comment on 'dedicating a third of the staff to be on standby for another Gage incident'. He was nearly right about that. How one man could be as accident-prone as Johnny, I will never understand.

And yet… I have to admit I'm having a hard time adjusting to it all. Oh I know there are plenty of capable, hard-working men and women out there who do the job just as well as Roy and John. It's just hard to wrap my brain around the fact that whenever the bay doors swing open, it won't be one of those two coming through them.

I can't say I was surprised to find out Roy made captain. Something about him just makes that seem the most logical result. He's confident, well-spoken and a natural leader. It would've been more surprising if he hadn't – although sometimes I wonder if he wasn't putting off taking the exam for a while. It had to be tough, being a man with a family to raise on the meager salary a paramedic makes. He must've had his reasons, though…

And I think one of the big ones was probably John Gage himself. Not that Roy didn't move on so John wouldn't be left behind. Roy doesn't seem the type that would hold himself back for the sake of someone else. No… it was probably love of the job and the solidarity in the 'family' that he worked with that made Roy wait so long. Stability and contentment. The rest of us should be so lucky.

Whatever the case, the county has just gained a valuable asset in Captain Desoto. Hopefully he'll come down to the hospital himself one of these days so I can tell him that. I imagine it won't be for a while, though. He's gotta be pretty busy getting settled into his new position.

The real shocker was Johnny saying he'd been promoted. I mean, we all knew they were going for it, but… _Johnny_? I guess… I guess it's kind of like finally realizing your kid brother isn't a kid anymore. It's just a hard pill to swallow.

Poor Dix… I really thought she was gonna start crying when she saw Gage coming down the hall in his dress uniform. I kind of felt like I'd been sucker-punched myself. It's one thing to talk about it and joke about it – we could almost pretend nothing was going to change – but to have living, breathing evidence striding down the corridor really drove it home.

No more Gage and Desoto. When the base station radio goes off and someone says "Rampart, this is County 51" it's going to be someone else relaying vitals, someone else requesting instructions. Just as capable, just as well-trained but… not _our_ squad 51.

All right Brackett. That's enough mooning around like the displaced heroine in a tacky romance novel. You've wasted half of your first day off sitting around reminiscing – time to get a move on. There's gotta be a golf tee out there somewhere with your name on it…

But maybe… maybe I'll see if there's a newly-minted captain or two out there that wouldn't mind giving a hard-nosed ER doctor a quick tour of his fire station first.


	5. Dixie

Just in case there's any misunderstanding: I welcome guest reviews and will approve them all unless they do not pertain to the story.

Moving on...

* * *

So many new faces around here – it's hard to keep track of them all. The hospital administration is talking about doing the staff scheduling on a computer because there's so many. I don't know if I agree with that. Sure, it's doing pretty well with keeping the patient files in order but it just seems so cold and impersonal when I think about applying it to the staff. How is a computer going to know Nancy needs some time off to help her family? Or that Carol really looks like she could use a break but won't ever ask for it? Or that Debbie has a class on Thursday night so she can only work half her shift? It doesn't, that's how. Maybe I'm old-fashioned but I'm certain that I can do the job better than any high-tech TV set.

Not that I'm against progress – never that. Advances in modern medicine have made it possible to save people that wouldn't have had a chance when I started nursing. It's just… medicine is about the _people_. If you take that away then we're nothing more than a hotel with an on-site pharmacist, if you ask me. A hospital runs best with a major human element in place.

Oh, I know I'm probably overreacting. I mean, it's not like they're trying to replace staff or anything. They probably just want to lighten the load. I can see that – I _respect_ that – it's just… Some things don't necessarily benefit from change, you know?

There's been a lot of that, lately – change, I mean. It's like Roy and Johnny's promotions opened a floodgate or something. They left and then we got a whole new bunch of staff and now with this computer thing…

I'm not being fair, I know it. It's just a lot harder to adapt than it used to be. I _know_ the boys' promotions didn't really have any effect on changes around here. Maybe it just made me more sensitive to them. I always used to be the first one to accept changes – as long as they were sensible.

I mean, way back when the paramedic program first started I was always in the guys' corner when it came to arguing with Kel. That man could be so bloody stubborn sometimes! I _knew_ deep down he realized how necessary it was to have someone in the field to help the patients before they reached the hospital – he was just so _bull-headed_ about it. At least he came to his senses eventually. Now he's one of the program's biggest advocates.

No… some kinds of change are good. Thanks to the Wedsworth-Townsend Act we've got more boys in blue out in the field rendering medical assistance to people who need it. I see more paramedics trooping through the emergency doors than ever before.

Not _my_ paramedics, though…

I guess, if I were being honest, that's the change I hated the most. Those boys deserved their promotions, hands-down, but a selfish little part of me can't help but tear up a bit when those doors swing open and it's not Roy or Johnny coming through them. Joe Early's been on my case for weeks now about the blue mood I've been in but I can't help it. Those two firemen were my favorite.

I knew they'd get the promotions. Started telling myself right after Roy mentioned they were going to write the captain's exam that they both would pass and we'd be seeing a lot less of them. Still… when Captain John Gage showed up at my desk all decked out in his fire department finery… I think my heart broke.

They always tell you not to get involved with the patients – that it's not professional – but no one ever warns you not to get involved with your co-workers. Strictly speaking Roy and John weren't _actually_ co-workers but we saw them so much they might as well have been part of the staff.

And I know I'm not the only one who's felt their absence. Kel, Joe – even Mike – have been looking a little out-of-sorts lately. Why, it was only last week I caught the confused look on Joe's face when Jim Hadley and Mitch Becker walked out of the treatment room after giving him an update on the patient's condition. Roy and Johnny would've stuck around to help out, anticipating what was needed _before_ they were asked…

Those two paramedics have some really big shoes to fill.

We still haven't seen Roy since he made captain. Kel says he's probably busy trying to adjust to his new position. He's right, of course, but I still wonder if Captain Desoto isn't avoiding us – avoiding _me_ – just a tiny bit.

Johnny, on the other hand, couldn't wait to get down here and show off his new bars. I gotta admit he was pretty humble about it but you could just see those brown eyes shining with pride…

Now stop it, Dixie. What would your nurses think if you started tearing up right in the middle of updating a patient's chart? Really, girl – get a grip on yourself.

Still… Johnny did look sharp in his captain's uniform. I'll bet he'll be a favorite with his men. He always did know how to have fun, despite the job. Or maybe it was because of it. Whatever it was, some crew out there is going to be counting themselves pretty lucky to have gotten Captain Gage.

I really have to get my act together. I've been sitting here, staring at this one chart for the last half hour while taking a trip down memory lane. It's a good thing today's been pretty quiet. It wouldn't do to have the head nurse of the department off in la-la land during an emergency.

Roy, now… I'll just bet we'll be seeing Captain Desoto before too much longer. He's got the kind of conscience that will poke at his guilt center until he finally gives up and comes down here. I just hope it happens on a day like today. I'd really like the chance to sit down and talk to him for a while. Just my luck it'll be crazy busy around here when he shows up. Never mind – if Roy _does_ come down here, someone else can hold the fort for a while. It's not like the place will fall apart if I take a few minutes to talk to an old friend.

Right. That's settled, then. Back to work – but at the next nurses' briefing I'm gonna make sure all the girls know that if Roy Desoto or John Gage show up in my emergency department _someone_ better come find me.


	6. Chet

Cap's got it all wrong. Sure, we miss having Roy and John around – who wouldn't? – but we're doing alright without them.

Okay, okay… so maybe me and Marco exchange a few words now and then. It's not as bad as Cap makes it out to be. I mean, guys doing a job like ours… ya gotta let off a little steam every so often, right? Doesn't everybody?

I dunno… maybe he was right about Mike, though. The guy's been a lot more quiet than usual lately. Maybe Gage and Desoto leaving has hit him a lot harder than the rest of us. He'll snap out of it, though. Stoker's a good guy.

Nah, I'm pretty sure Cap's misreading this whole thing. We're a solid crew now… me and Marco, Mike and Cap, Hadley and Becker… We're good.

Take Becker for example – now _that_ guy is a good sport. He can take a joke, no problem. Not like Gage. He'd go off like a Roman candle whenever the Phantom got him. Becker just grins, grabs a towel and changes his shirt. No big deal.

Not like ol' Gage. He'd spend the next week trying to figure out a way to get back at the Phantom – and failing, as usual. Except for the time he put the CPR dummy in my trunk. That was pretty good. But that was one time out of many. Not really a worthy opponent, if you ask me.

Cap's just overreacting. That's what it is. I mean, it's not like we're not doing a good job, or anything. The fire goes out, the hose gets hung, Big Red gets a new coat of wax – everything's normal, right?

Maybe what he needs is one of those team-building exercises, like we used to do when Roy and John were here. That'd show Cap everything's okay. We haven't done one of those in a while.

If you ask me, the person who's having the hardest time adjusting to all this is Mike. I mean, I can get more conversation out of Henry than I can out of the engineer! That's not right. Cap should sit him down and have a talk with him. Mike, I mean, not Henry. I don't think he's said more than two words to the rest of us, and not even _that_ many to the new guys.

Maybe he's a bit jealous. I mean, Becker can get the squad to shine like a mirror and Hadley… he's a great cook – I mean a _really_ great cook. Maybe ol' Mike is feeling a little insecure about where he stands now. It's not like we don't appreciate Mike's cooking – his fried chicken is legendary – and everyone in the department can pick out Big Red a block away without even seeing her numbers. She's the cleanest, shiniest rig in the county. I think Cap should sit down with Mike and tell him he's got nothing to worry about.

I guess it all boils down to Roy and John. Since those two left, Cap, Marco and Mike have been kinda testy. Edgy. Like they're walking around on eggshells, y'know? They're probably a little sore that the guys up and left us like that. I mean, everyone knew Gage and Desoto were going for the exam. And we all figured they'd pass it. It was just kinda rude for them to up and leave like that. Without saying anything or coming back for a visit or… or whatever. I mean, I- we all thought we were like family, y'know? We kinda thought they'd go get their bars and badges and then we'd have a little get-together. Go bowling, have a barbecue – that kinda thing.

Last thing I said to them was "See you guys later" and they both said they would. Well, _Gage_ said it – Roy just nodded and waved. But it's the same thing, right? And I'm almost positive Marco saw it. That's probably why he's upset. He must've told Mike and now the two of them are cranky because Roy and John didn't come back. I wasn't fooled by the way they both just _happened_ to be in the kitchen making lunch when I came back into the station. They saw it – I _know_ they did.

Maybe I should tell Cap about it. Might give him a bit of insight as to why Mike and Marco are so unhappy. It'd be nice if he could set them straight – I'm getting kinda tired of the way Marco keeps doing stuff to get under my skin, or the way Mike keeps _not_ talking to anyone. I mean, a guy can only take so much of that, y'know?

I dunno, man… Maybe talking to Cap isn't such a hot idea. He was giving me a _look_ this morning – like he thought maybe I was the one responsible for all this. I'm totally innocent, I tell ya! I'm just minding my own business, doing my work… it doesn't bother me none that Gage and Desoto didn't come back when they said they were gonna. No sirree. Not me, babe.

See – they're doing it _again_! Cap, standing in the doorway staring at me… and Mike, polishing Big Red like he's trying to rub the paint off. I tell ya, it's enough to make a guy go nuts! What did I do? I'm just minding my own business, mopping the bay floor like I'm supposed to. They're trying to get under my skin again. Maybe I'll go mop the dorm…

Forget it. Marco's in there, making up the bunks. I'll go mop the latrine.

Where's a good fire when you need one, eh? At least that'd get their minds off this whole mess. You'd think nobody ever got promoted and left their crew behind before. Lots of people do it. I bet nobody grouched all over when _Cap_ got promoted and moved on. I mean, just this morning I was cooking breakfast and thinking about… stuff… and Cap barked at me because the pancakes got a little overcooked. Like it's never happened to anyone else before! Geez!

I bet none of them will get that worked up when ol' _Chet_ leaves. I mean, yeah, it won't be for a while… that captain's exam is pretty tough… But it'll happen. Next time. If Gage can make captain, I sure can. It was just bad luck, that's all. But when _I_ make captain, I'm gonna make _sure_ I come back like I said I would. Maybe I'll throw a party – invite some of those girls in my building. We can have a barbecue, maybe swim in the pool… Yeah. That's what I'll do. No one's gonna accuse _me_ of forgetting where I came from when I get promoted…

'Course maybe Mike and Marco will make captain before me… Maybe Cap will make Chief before I make captain… Aw, no big deal. I'll invite Hadley and Becker and whoever else I'm working with. Throw a big party. It'll be _legendary_. Maybe I'll invite Gage and Desoto and Mike and Marco and Cap – just to show them who's the better man. Yeah. That's what I'll do. Invite them all and the new guys so they can see _I_ didn't forget about them when I got my bars.

On second thought… maybe a big party isn't such a great idea. I mean, it could get outta hand and then there'd be trouble – not a good thing to have happen right after you get promoted. Headquarters would hear about it and then I might lose my rank… Maybe something a bit quieter… Without the girls…

Man… what _is_ it with Marco? Why does he have to keep following me around everywhere? Now he's cleaning the mirror, watching me while he's doing it. He's got that _look_ on his face again, too – that one he has when he's about to say something. Can't he see I've got _work_ to do? These floors ain't gonna mop themselves, y'know… Ah, forget it. It's as clean as it's gonna get.

After I put this mop away I'm gonna go talk to Cap – _someone's_ gotta talk to these guys. Grouching around like that – they're just being selfish, is all…


	7. Mike

I suppose I asked for it. I should've put "series of oneshots" in the story description. Nevertheless, that is what this has been. Not a story, exactly, but a collection of POV for each character after the final episode. Should I post another, it will be in proper story format, complete with chapters... and NO intro.

Thank you for reading and thanks to those who left reviews.

* * *

Not too many people realize how therapeutic waxing can be. Actually, it's not the waxing part but the buffing that really relaxes you. Whenever things start getting crazy, I break out the rags and give Big Red a nice, deep shine. Works wonders.

I think maybe John used to get it. Not consciously, perhaps, but whenever he and Roy polished the squad I could see it happen to him. One minute he'd be scrubbing like a madman, putting more warps in the finish than a carnival mirror, and the next he'd be quietly rubbing in circles with a far-off look in his eyes.

It's a calming thing. Psychiatrists should really look into prescribing it for their more agitated patients.

The guys probably think I've lost it. Over the past few months I've polished this engine from bumper to bumper more often than it's gone on a run. They don't understand…

Chet's been stomping around the station for weeks, muttering under his breath and losing his temper over nothing. Twenty minutes with the latches would put him in a better mood, I'm sure.

The new paramedic, Jim Hadley, did the Class 1s yesterday. There were a couple of gauges that needed doing over but he was smiling when he nodded at me and went for supper. He gets it, too.

Cap should give it a try. He's been trying to write reports for the past hour but every few minutes I can hear paper being crushed into a ball. Over and over.

I sure don't envy him his job. Guess it's Roy and John's job now, too.

I wonder how they're making out… It's been a while. Just this morning I heard Marco talking to Mitch Becker about it. In Spanish. I don't understand a lot of it and I can't speak it but they were trying to be quiet so they were going slow. Marco was talking to someone from John's station and he said when John started they were worried about having him for a captain. They'd heard he has a _tendencia a ser heridos_. I think that means 'accident prone'. From what I got, things turned out okay.

Whenever Roy worked on the squad he was trying to clean it. Maybe he doesn't need to work things out as much. I wonder what he does instead. Gardening or woodworking, maybe. He used to be pretty handy, mechanically-speaking. He probably slid into his new position without batting an eye. Someone should warn his crew about his temper, though. It's a slow fuse but you don't want to be around when it finally hits the powder.

There's fingerprints on the wye… I'll do that next…

Cap's 'little talk' – the one about Roy and John and their promotions – helped Marco a lot. He was pretty good with it before, considering, but he's loosened up since then. Chet wasn't listening, really. He's been talking himself into a flap since they left. I doubt he's going to come around until he gets a chance to see them again. I hope they don't leave it too long. He's liable to work himself up into full-blown fury and then nothing's going to help.

Jim had a couple of interesting things to say. Mitch just nodded a lot. Neither of them felt they were welcome when they got here. Cap told them we had to get used to John and Roy being gone. They understood but I can tell they're getting tired of waiting. They've been through crew changes before. It probably seems to them like we should be over it by now.

I suppose seven years isn't really all that long – most guys put in twenty or thirty years with the department – but it's actually quite a while to go without change. You get closer. Most crews change personnel like players on a basketball team. One gets switched out for another every so often. Ours was more like… water pressure. A bit down here, bring it up a little more there until it comes back…

With the exception of a few times when one of the guys was out for a while, roll call didn't change much. So yeah. We got closer. Better friends. Like family. When Roy and John left it was like losing family. Only you don't get time to get used to it. It's a revolving door. Two guys go out and before you've had time to adjust, two more come in.

Like- Where did that smear come from? Like if you had a long-time pet that died suddenly and before you come to grips with the fact that they aren't there anymore, hogging half the bed, someone brings another one into the house. You know all the things you have to do to make it work but it's not the same.

Cap's crumpling paper again. He should come out here. He was an engineer once – he should know the benefits of a little elbow grease. Maybe I can talk him into doing the rails…

I was thinking about taking that exam. John and Roy were studying for months before they went. I've pretty much got the curriculum down pat. Just have to read up on it a bit – refresh my memory in spots. I bet I could pass it.

Maybe not yet. Once the pressure evens out I'll think about it. For now, though, Jim and Mitch need to solidify their place with the rest of us. Trust isn't the issue – we've been through a lot of calls since they came on board – but there's still a few kinks in that hose that need to be worked out. It's coming, though. Between me and Marco, we'll be running as smooth as ol' Big Red here before much longer.

Chet's a different problem. If he'd just admit how he feels about John and Roy leaving – even if only to himself – he'd be a lot better off. We all know he and John were buddies. Weird buddies, but still… Chet wouldn't admit it, though. If John got a scrape or a cut, Chet would be right there with the verbal iodine but if it was something serious… It'd hit him harder than just about anyone. Except maybe Roy. Try and get him to acknowledge how he felt, though, and the only one who wouldn't feel the backdraft was Henry.

That reminds me… I need to do the nozzles…

Marco's going to be calling supper soon. Today's been pretty quiet so I should probably eat fast. Odds are, it'll be busy tonight and it wouldn't do to have the old girl go out with smudges on her. The rails will keep until tomorrow but I'll have to get the wye done for sure. At least the caps.

Off tomorrow. I think I'll call Roy. We're still on the same shift so he'll be off Saturday, too. He'll know John's schedule for sure. Maybe we can put together a barbecue or something. He'll have to be the one to tell Chet, though. I'll explain why when I talk to him. I'm sure he'll understand. John could call him but with the way the Irishman's been lately he'll probably get an earful. Better let Roy do it.

Finished. Just in time, too. Marco's chili is-

Going to get cold. Looks like I get to polish Red again tonight. Where did I leave my coat?


	8. Marco

I thought this one was finished but then I received a lot of requests for Marco's side of the story. I began it then - only to be distracted by something else for a while.

It wasn't until a friend gave me a few ideas that I finally managed to knuckle down and get this written. So this one's for Lex...

* * *

It sure is good, seeing them again. If you didn't know them, you'd think nothing had changed. To me, the difference is glaringly obvious. Roy, he stands taller, and John… his spirit is calm.

I was wondering when this event would come together. When Roy called to invite me, I think he was more surprised than I was. I could hear it in his voice. I knew it would happen, though – eventually. While Chet moped around the station, grouching about how the two of them said they'd 'see us later' but didn't, I knew. It just took time, is all. Time and faith.

John and Roy look a little uncomfortable. Like they haven't seen one another in a while. Those two were the best of amigos before they were promoted. They should realize their relationship is the type to withstand anything. A force of nature, if you will. Something as trivial as taking different paths will only strengthen what they have, if they allow it.

Speaking of amigos – Chet has a big smile on his face. It's good to see him happy again. I was beginning to worry. He wasn't really fooling anybody, making like he wasn't affected by our little band of _compañeros _breaking up. Everything changes, my friend. It's about time you see that it doesn't always mean the worst has happened.

Ah… it's a beautiful day for a barbecue. Miss McCall's lemonade is a little sharp to me but everyone else seems to like it. Too bad Doctor Brackett and Doctor Morton couldn't stay. I guess someone's got to be at Rampart if there's an emergency…

I could take a little siesta right here in the sunshine. I wonder how long Cap will take with the burgers?

Speaking of Rampart – Doctor Early can joke all he wants about forgetting what John looks like but I'm glad he's shaken off his bad luck. At the very least, he's now in a position that makes it harder for the bad luck to reach him. Some days I really worried about him.

Maybe if I pretend to be asleep Mitch will leave me be. Not that I don't like the man but now is a time for reflection. I was surprised to see them both here, actually. A smart move on Roy's part – Jim and Mitch get to meet the men they're replacing, and Roy and John get to see we're in good hands. Definitely a smart move…

I didn't mean to eavesdrop on Mike and Jim earlier but I confess I'm glad I did. I had no idea the two paramedics were harboring a grudge against Roy and Johnny. Even though we didn't talk about them a lot, somehow he and Mitch got the impression they were gods or something. I guess Cap's speech about open communication meant more than we realized.

It doesn't help that Roy and John were the first, either. Jim and Mitch heard plenty about the county's best paramedic team long before they met the rest of us – and then our behavior just made it worse. I can see they're alright with it now, though – or they will be, once they get used to seeing Chet in a good mood.

John's new crew is really impressed with him. I don't think he knows it, though. Maybe he does and just isn't letting it go to his head. Either way, the guys I've talked to have all said pretty much the same thing: fair, easygoing, a good leader and a smart man. Knows when to let things slide and when to put his foot down. No nonsense but not uptight. And the best guy to have by your side when things get sticky. Kind of like Captain Stanley with a dash of Johnny thrown in for flavor.

No surprise there…

Now Roy's men – they knew what they were getting before he showed up. From what Dixon told me last week, they'd already heard about Roy before he arrived for their first shift together: level headed, reliable, knowledgeable, compassionate and loyal. And apparently he knows the rulebook better than Brice – he just doesn't stick it in your face. I have to admit I'm a little jealous of them. If I couldn't work under Captain Stanley then Captain DeSoto would be my first choice – followed very closely by Captain Gage. Maybe one day I will. I don't really want to be a captain myself. Engineer, perhaps, but not a captain. It seems like too much of a headache to me.

I suppose I should go join in the festivities. Who knows when we'll be able to get together again? Maybe we should make this a yearly thing – our own little annual fireman's picnic. Or maybe next year we could do something else… Camping. That's it. Next year we should go camping. I think I'll run that by the guys. After my siesta…


End file.
